K-Drama Review : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

K-Drama Review : It’s Okay to Not Be OkayIt's Okay to Not be Okay Published by Netflix on June 20 - August 9, 2020
Genres: Romance, Drama
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A road to emotional healing opens up for an antisocial children's book author (Seo Ye-ji) and an employee (Kim Soo-hyun) in a psychiatric hospital.

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is a K-drama that tells the story of two brothers, Moon Gang-tae and his older brother, Moon Sang-tae. Due to the loss of their mother at a young age, Moon Gang-tae becomes the sole caretaker of Sang-tae, who has Autism Spectrum Disorder. As Sang-tae was the only one who witnessed their mother’s murder, he has traumatic nightmares inexplicably having to do with butterflies attacking him—and the two have to be ready to pack up and leave at a moment’s notice in order for Sang-tae to feel safe again and for their life to be livable. Before their next move, the brothers meet Ko Mun-yeong, Sang-tae’s favorite children’s book author, and she and Gang-tae develop a romantic relationship. She too, is not without her own personal mental health issues and trauma. Without a doubt, It’s Okay Not to be Okay is at its best when portraying mental illnesses, healing, and the bonds between brothers. Unfortunately, when the show dives more into the mystery surrounding the murder of Gang-tae and Sang-tae’s mother, it borders on mediocre.


Sang-tae and Gang-tae.

What I liked the most about It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is the character of Sang-tae. Sang-tae is not relegated to the role of a side character or any kind of plot device, as so many characters with Autism Spectrum Disorder are. Instead, he is an integral part of the show, and his thoughts, feelings, and needs are shown as extremely important to everyone. In fact, Ko Mun-yeong essentially has to gain Sang-tae’s approval before officially dating Gang-tae. This is a main sticking point of the show, as Sang-tae is used to his younger brother basing his entire life around him and his needs. It’s really beautiful how these three characters form a “found” family over time—one that not only accepts each other’s mental health issues, but loves each other for them. I feel like Ko Mun-yeoung and Gang-tae’s relationship is more powerful because of having to go slowly to gain Sang-tae’s acceptance and because of overcoming their own personal issues.


Moon Gang-tae took care of Sang-tae on his own from an extremely young age.


Gang-tae for example, has never been able to date, let alone put down roots anywhere. Every year, he packs up, quits his job, and moves to avoid Sang-tae’s butterflies. I cannot imagine the emotional toll this alone takes on a person, especially since he’s been caring for his brother all alone from a very young age. What’s more, is that he also works in psychiatric hospitals as an orderly/caregiver, as he never was able to continue his education after his mother died. Most of his trauma also stems from the fact that his mother treated him like he was only born to take care of and to protect Sang-tae. All this emotional turmoil turns him into someone who thinks his wants and needs are selfish and unimportant. As such, Gang-tae is completely unable to express how he really feels and masks his emotions as not to upset his older brother.


The show features a lot of illustrations from Ko Mun-yeong’s children’s books.

Ko Mun-yeong is Gang-tae’s love interest, and Sang-tae’s eventual best friend. It’s Okay to Not Be Okay remarks off-handedly that she has antisocial personality disorder, a pretty serious mental health diagnosis which is defined as a complete disregard for others, though I don’t know if that’s her actual diagnosis. Regardless, Ko Mun-yeong doesn’t seem to have many worries for the thoughts and feelings of others, doing whatever she wants on whim, with no thought of the consequences. This means that when she decides she likes something or someone, in the case of Gang-tae, she goes after it with every fiber of her being and boy, do antics ensue. She’s absolutely wild and I immediately loved her. Not only is she beautiful, but so are the children’s books she writes—her only way of communicating her true feelings to the world. In fact, all of the episodes share a title with one of her books or another famous fairytale and it is her books that allow her to bond with Sang-tae. (Sidenote: I would 100% read any of her Tim Burton-esque books, and apparently they are actually on sale somewhere in South Korea. If only I could read Hangul.)



It’s really beautiful how Sang-tae, Gang-tae, and Ko Mun-yeong manage to work past all of their traumas together. The show does a great job sensitively reflecting each of their emotional traumas from childhood and how they shaped them into the adults they are. And as it turns out, these three have more shared trauma than they initially thought, and that’s where It’s Okay to Not Be Okay loses its way. It turns out Ko Mun-yeong’s mother, who traumatized her so much that she sees her as a ghost during her sleep paralysis, is View Spoiler » It’s a huge stretch, and completely unbelievable. This all comes to light in the final episodes of the show to try and tear a happy Ko Mun-yeong and Gang-tae apart, and it all just feels really contrived and unnecessary. I think the show should’ve simply spent more time developing its side characters in the psychiatric ward, or the second leads (who I honestly didn’t care much at all about), instead of going down this weird path. This bizarre twist, if you can call something so poorly written and explained a twist, really ruined the whole show for me.



My only other problem with It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, was that in the beginning of the show Ko Mun-yeong was walking around almost stabbing people in the eye with pens, pushing them down the stairs, and slicing someone with a knife. She was clearly off the rails, and the show really dials down her behavioral issues when she falls in love with Gang-tae, almost as if love “cures” her and makes her magically care about the well-being of others. This could be a dangerous message to send people about mental health. I wish It’s Okay Not to be Okay would’ve shown her getting therapy or something of the sort, though Sang-tae’s therapy didn’t really seem legitimate either. He literally sits down with the director of Ok Psychiatric Hospital one time for roughly five minutes in a single episode, and somehow the doctor magically convinces him to confront his years-long fear of butterflies.


Ko Mun-yeong stabs Moon Gang-tae the first time she meets him.

Regardless, it concerned me that not only did It’s Okay to Not Be Okay choose not show her working on her issues under the guidance of a mental health professional, but also that a psychiatric hospital hired her with no concern for how her own personality disorder/conditions would effect their patients. And it does, she makes one patient faint, and another cry from her harsh words. It’s mind-boggling that they even hired her, as she tried to stab another, violent patient on her very first visit, but ends up slicing Gang-tae when he prevents her from doing so. At they very least, hiring her seems like a bad idea, at worst, it seems like medical malpractice and a lawsuit.



I also had trouble believing parts of the portrayal’s of Sang-tae’s mental health. I was surprised that Sang-tae had as little of a set routine as he did, occasionally working as a part-timer in a pizza shop, others going to school, and sometimes lived on his own for the night and was able to cook for himself with no issue, despite being prone to episodes of panic.  I was a Psychology major in college for a semester and took a course on “The Exceptional Child,” which spent a lot of time on Autism Spectrum Disorder, so I think I might know a tiny bit more than the average person, but I am by no means an expert. However, with what little I do know, I just didn’t think Sang-tae seemed to be high functioning enough to be able to do all these things without supervision or without accident or harm, especially with his sporadic episodes that leave him unable to cope at all and require him to self-isolate.


But I guess the romance and plot had to move forward sometimes, and for the latter especially, show had to get Gang-tae and Mun-yeong alone, so they made this happen whether it was realistic or not for Sang-tae’s overall well-being. Likewise, the psychiatric patients are seen walking around with little to no supervision, having all sorts of personal stuff in their rooms, and it just didn’t seem like a very accurate portrayal of a psychiatric hospital to me. I wish the show had committed a bit more to realism. While it’s okay to not be okay, it’s not so okay to show unrealistic treatments for mental health.


Sang-tae And Ko Mun


Despite these issues, I do think the show does an overall solid job of its portrayal of Sang-tae, as I said before. Other shows have a tendency to sideline characters with similar conditions, to not spend as much time developing them, and to sadly, use them as plot devices. I love that It’s Okay to Not Be Okay made Sang-tae a main character as important as Gang-tae and Ko Mun Yeong. And the actor who portrays Sang-tae, Oh Jung-se, does an absolutely phenomenal job! He takes care to portray his character’s struggles of making eye contact and having tics. Likewise, the actress playing Ko Mun-yeong, Seo Ye-ji, blew me away. Viewers can literally see her thoughts playing across her face, and she does a great job balancing portraying a confident, strong woman who is also incredibly vulnerable. For me, the weakest link out of these main three actors on the show, was surprisingly Kim Soo-Hyun, who plays Gang-tae. I don’t know if it was simply because he was playing a character who hides his true feelings, but a lot of the times, I had no idea what was going on through his head. Unfortunately, this was really noticeable in contrast to the other main actor and actress. The character’s emotional outbursts, when they did happen, seemed very random as result of his inability to portray the minute details of emotions. I simply didn’t care for this portrayal as much as the portrayals of the other characters.


Gang-tae, Mun-yeong, and Sang-tae form a “found” family.

Overall, I did enjoy It’s Okay to Not be Okay. It was very entertaining for the most part, making me laugh out loud at times, and sharing a lot if its theme through the interesting medium of children’s books. Obviously, the show did try to handle the delicate mental health of its characters with sensitivity, even though it wasn’t always a very realistic portrayal of the healing process, etc.. I really enjoyed the unique relationship between the three main characters, and loved the acting of two of these leads. However, I definitely lost interest in the show when it dealt with the mystery surrounding the murder of Gang-tae and Sang-tae’s mother and I found myself on my phone a lot browsing the internet instead of paying full attention to the show during these parts. If viewers want to watch a K-drama dealing with mental health and that has a well-done twist, I recommend they watch It’s Okay, That’s Love instead.

K-Drama Review : It's Okay to not Be Okay - Blogging with Dragons

Posted October 30, 2020 in K-Dramas, Watch


6 responses to “K-Drama Review : It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

  1. Gabrielle Williams

    When she first attempted to stab the violent patient it wasn’t at OK hospital. If I’m not mistaking it was at a hospital in the city where she was reading her book to the children.

  2. Charlene

    I think (as a PCP) w a mental health background that the writers/producers did an extraordinary job of portraying trauma, mental illness and how it affects people’s lives, as well as the process of working through it. I also think I can’t judge the OK Psychiatric Hospital by American Psych hospital standards bc this takes place in Korea.
    Though it sure looked chaotic at times, they did repeatedly reference the fact they used “unorthodox” approaches to mental health care.

    The unfortunate plot twist re the death of the mother can be ignored IMO bc there is so much ground gained concerning the exploration of mental health by producing a series such as this one. No one and I mean no one, talks about mental health. Even less so is it portrayed in the entertainment world, so we will give that twist a miss, just move on, appreciate this monumental auspicious undertaking.

    This series did more for bringing the real lives of people suffering from mental health challenges into the light than 99% of all else that’s available in US, European and Korean entertainment.

    Having reached the end of the series, it will be sad not “spending time” with these lovely characters, Moon Sang Tae (will miss him the most!), Ko Moon Young and Moon Gang Tae.


    • I agree that it’s really nice to see a show, especially a k-drama, exploring mental health and the importance of it. Glad you enjoyed and hope you can find another show that you like just as much!

  3. the subtitles went way too fast sometimes especially as the storyline got more intense. I often couldn’t make sense of what the lesser characters were up to. Like the woman who follows the publisher around, especially. I haven’t finished it yet because it did start to be tiring — all the revelations coming up and finding out that Moon almost left his brother to drown in a frozen lake and then seeing that the book author threw him a sort of life line but failed to really get him out of trouble completely. At that point, they all started to seem so whacked out that I had little hope for successful resolutions of their difficulties. Im still not clear about how the author;s mother died and what her father had to do with it. DId he have to lock her up because she was so crazy? why were her limbs “mangled”
    It seems too that Moon character remembered only the bad parts of his hirstory with his mother but finally was able to remember her fondness for him also -something he had seemed to block from his memory.

  4. Jason O

    I don’t really agree with your final statement here. The whole story was started on the premise that the boys are messed up due to the murder of their mother. It was how it started and it had to come to a resolution by the end. The middle is where the story kinda went sideways due to the building and repairing of relationships but the ‘butterfly’ was ever present. As a whole, I think this was VERY well done. Writing and performances all around were spectacular and I’m going to miss this show and the characters.

    I’m hoping that maybe, one day in the future, we will get to revisit them and see what happens next. Butterfly escapes captivity, Gang-tae and Mun-yeong get married, Sang-tae is a well known illustrator and now he ‘takes care’ of his younger ‘brother and sister, Sang-in and Joo-ri get married and have a couple of crazy kids, Seung-jae and Jae-soo date on and off but are always arguing and making up, Ji-wang passes the baton to his son to run the hospital…

    There is LOTS that can be done if they ever decide to make a season 2, but should they really? I don’t want it to take away from what they have already done. If they do ever decide to create more story it has to be done as well as the original story line.

  5. Sarela

    Literally a stunning series. Without a doubt, it is totally different from the classic South Korean series. The way this drama explains how life works through the fairy tale is thoughtful and beautiful in its own way. As a viewer, I realized that sometimes we socially normalize disguising certain emotions such as loneliness, sadness, frustration among other shortcomings due to from childhood traumas, appearing coldness, perfectionism, not accepting the support of people who are close to us. I loved how this drama focuses on each character’s mental issues and shows the importance of relating to other people and sharing emotions to accept we have problems and that we can solve them.
    The scene that make me a strong impression was in chapter 7, when the patient allows Ku Moon Young to keep the expensive shawl she appreciated so much, which probably influenced Ko Moon-young’s decision to cut her hair. For the patient it was a liberation symbol, of detachment from a painful event, accepting the death of her daughter and for Ko Moon-young to take a step forward in her life, since her hair was a permanent memory of her mother’s abuse towards her. Both decisions highlight for me, the importance of letting go, drop up everything that holds us back, that hurts us, that weighs us down emotionally and move forward, continuing with our life with the freedom to feel good, without blame.

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